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Wig Channel Ruth and Erica Depict The Changing Dynamics of the Parent-Child Relationship

  
  
  

When the Child Becomes the Caregiver

Paula Spahn wrote yesterday about a new show, “Ruth and Erica,” that is aired  exclusively on the Wig Channel on  YouTube, centered on a grown woman who is beginning to face the reality  that her aging parents may not be so self-sufficient anymore (her father fell  asleep at a stop sign – “Once!” her mother protests – while behind the wheel of  his car).  To make matters more  complicated, her parents are in total denial of their fading capabilities and  her mother, in particular, seems determined to deflect any implication that she  and her husband are starting to show signs of decline: when presented with  rotting food in her fridge, she tells her daughter, “I’m going to make  something with that!” to which her daughter replies, “What are they? Seriously  identify the fruit and I’ll put them back.”

This is a classic example of something that is going on in  millions of homes across America right now.  Adult children are in a tough position to make sure that their aging parents  are safe (and not a hazard to innocent pedestrians or guests over for a meal),  while meeting with obstinate defensiveness that their parents are “just  fine.”

The production is high quality with veteran actors – Maura  Tierney (of ER and News Radio fame) as daughter Erica and Lois  Smith and Philip Baker Hall as her aging parents.  Its subject matter gives credence to the fact  that many of us are in the same situation: trying to maintain our parents’  dignity and sense of independence while ensuring their well-being.

I find myself battling my mom over what my father is capable of doing these days; I’ve written before on my situation helping my mom care for my dad,  who has Alzheimer’s, and while heartbreaking to see such a vibrant, active man  morph into something else, the hardest part is the struggle I’m having in  getting my mom to admit that she needs help.  We see through Erica’s eyes the pain and dawning realization that her parents, who have always kept her safe and cared for her, now may need her more  than she needs them.

I look forward to watching all the installments of “Ruth & Erica.” Check it out  for yourself and understand that you are not alone! It’s about time the  entertainment industry paid more attention to this issue.

Comments

The situation is all too real. Dad was a proud WW II Marine who didn't talk about "his business" and Mom was someone who never balanced a checkbook and barely drove a car. It took their losing their home of 40 years to medical bills and a diagnosis of lung cancer with a projected 2 months for Dad for them to share with me what was happening. They were lucky because I knew it wasn't "If" it was "When" and had done the preplanning. Please have a plan ready that answers the "what-ifs" that wake you at 3 AM. Confronting doesn't work pre-planning does.
Posted @ Thursday, September 27, 2012 1:59 PM by Valerie Juleson
Its subject matter gives credence to the fact that many of us are in the same situation: trying to maintain our parents’ dignity and sense of independence while ensuring their well-being. 
 
 
 
then you have the other children of the family that expect to have their parents the same way they were when they were growing up and cannot adjust to the fact that they slow down becoming somewhat child like
Posted @ Friday, September 28, 2012 8:12 PM by George Murphy
Treasure those moments while yout parents are ambulatory. Do not grow weary answering questions over and over. When Mom could walk and we repeatedly told her the same things little did I know how precious that communication was and how soon she would be bed bound not able to speak but a sentence or two. 
Hold their hands and hug them walk with them. Be proud to help them on this journey - This Long Goodbye. Demand for them the dignity tjey deserve. My mom was a marine too Semper Fi she would say!
Posted @ Friday, September 28, 2012 9:20 PM by AnnaMarie
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